


Parlor Games

by Lyrstzha



Category: Firefly, Torchwood
Genre: Crossover, Flirting, Future Fic, M/M, torchwood 17
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-05
Updated: 2008-03-05
Packaged: 2017-10-05 15:50:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyrstzha/pseuds/Lyrstzha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After another war breaks out with the Alliance, Jayne's left looking for work. As it turns out, some outfit called Torchwood might be hiring.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Parlor Games

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Brunettepet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brunettepet/gifts).



> Translations are in mouseover as well as at the end of the text.

"Captain Jack Harkness," the dark-haired man proclaimed cheerfully, grasping Jayne's hand and shaking it with almost obscene warmth, in Jayne's opinion. "Welcome to Torchwood Seventeen. You must be Jayne Cobb."

"Must be," Jayne allowed grudgingly, eyeing Jack dubiously. Ain't nobody in the 'Verse outside of Kaylee oughta be that sunny. But Jayne didn't wanna think about Kaylee just then, so he went on letting this Jack fellow shake his hand anyway.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Cobb." Jack grinned broadly with a flash of white, white teeth, his enthusiasm apparently not at all dimmed by Jayne's gruffness. "I heard a lot about you while I was visiting Higgins' Moon."

"Aww," Jayne groaned, yanking his hand away. "Don't believe a word of that _luh suh_. Them people is crazier'n," _a moon-brained girl what got her brain cut up_, he was thinking, but he said, "a sack'a rabid weasels."

Jack raised his eyebrows thoughtfully at this reaction. "Really? Because I've also heard all about Miranda, of course. Sounds like the same man to me."

"Just more'a them, you know, circumstantial things." Jayne waved a hand in a vague, impatient gesture that looked like it ought to involve a knife in some way. "Don't be expectin' none a'that ruttin' he-roic _joo fuen chse_ from me."

But Jack just kept looking at him, steady and assessing, uncomfortably piercing. "Circumstantial," he echoed. "I see." But the way he said it, it sounded like he was saying something else. Jayne wasn't sure how the man did it, but it was a gorram vexation.

"You gonna make me a firm offer on this job, or not?" Jayne demanded testily. "'Cause there's a special on at Madam Chin's I wanna get to if you ain't."

Jack gave a full-throated laugh at that. "Oh, I know," he chuckled. "It's 'wear the first whore out and the second is half-price' Thursday, isn't it?"

Jayne blinked, his orneriness fading slightly despite himself. "So I hear," he finally agreed. "That a yes?"

"It's not a no." Jack winked at him, and seemed undaunted when Jayne merely glowered back. "Come into my office and sit down, Mr. Cobb. I like to chat a bit first, get a feel for my potential employees."

The young buck manning the desk just inside the front door gave a small snort at the words 'get a feel'. Jack winked at him, too, and ushered Jayne into the office beyond.

"So," Jack said, settling back into the sleek leather chair behind his desk with a creak. "Torchwood doesn't often invite people to come apply. Usually we just wait for new talent to stumble across us, then we suck them in." He offered Jayne a conspiratorial grin. "Sort of the welcome-to-my-parlor approach, but it works for me."

Jayne stared at him. "You got an oddness to you, you know that?"

Jack's grin quirked sideways at the corner wryly. "So I've been told. Most people decide to find it charming."

"I ain't most people," Jayne growled.

Jack leaned forwards, his chin on his fist, eyes unblinking on Jayne's. "And I like a challenge," he countered smoothly.

Jayne squinted mulishly back at Jack for a long moment in silence before he decided the flirting was most likely some sort of bargaining tactic. He finally muttered, "So, this job a'yours. You said in your wave there'd be good pay an' some scratch besides."

"That I did." Jack nodded easily. "I make sure my people live well, and we've got the best in medical care and pensions. Plus, of course," he waved a hand over his shoulder, and a panel on the wall behind him slid back to reveal a rack full of gleaming weapons, "we have the best tools to work with." He smirked at Jayne's wide-eyed stare.

"Those...those ain't guns I know," Jayne said slowly, because it was like saying, 'this water ain't wet.'

"Well, you wouldn't," Jack agreed. "We don't go in for the commercial models here." He swivelled his chair around and reached for the biggest, shiniest gun on the wall. "Take this one, for example," he offered, holding it across the desk to Jayne, who accepted it with reverent hands. "She's a close cousin to the one you've got back in your bunk."

Jayne twitched and tore his eyes from the glittering barrel in his grasp to regard Jack warily. But before Jayne could demand how anybody could know what he did or didn't have in his bunk, Jack leaned in like he was sharing a secret.

"But this baby's got triple the firepower and twice the range," he murmured. "Oh, and explosive rounds."

Thoroughly distracted, Jayne caressed the gun lovingly. "_Triple?_" he asked, choked up just a mite.

"Triple," Jack confirmed smugly. "And all my people are issued one."

_Wait a cotton-picking minute_, Jayne told himself, forcibly detaching his glazed stare from the tempting gun and closing his mouth before he could drool outright. "You tryin' to blind me with shiny long enough to get me to sign on with you for less'n you offered? 'Cause I ain't that easy."

"I'm sure you aren't," Jack assured him. "I just thought I'd show you some of the benefits we offer first thing. You struck me as the sort of man who'd appreciate getting his hands on something cocked and loaded right off." And he went and stroked a fingertip over the stock of the gun, making Jayne want to jealously snatch the weapon away.

"If you ain't lookin' to bargain down, where's the catch?" Jayne asked him suspiciously.

"Well," Jack sighed, shrugging ruefully. "I figured I'd start gently before I told you what this job is going to entail."

"Can't say as I much like the sound a'that," Jayne told Jack, marshaling all of his willpower to lay the gun firmly down on the desk and fold his arms across his chest. "You said security work. That a lie?"

"No. I just didn't say security from _what_."

Jayne pushed his chair back with a jerk. "It's Reavers, ain't it?" he accused.

"No," Jack denied. "But I can't say it won't be just as dangerous."

Jayne gave him a flinty glare. "You mighta mentioned that before I came all the way out here."

Jack simply returned a slight smile with apparent equanimity. "I might've," he agreed. "But I happen to know you've been pretty much on the drift ever since the war reignited. There's not a lot of work for a merc who doesn't want to get involved with either side, now is there? My sources say that's why you parted company with your last crew. But you wouldn't have that problem here; we have even bigger things to worry about than the Alliance."

Jayne clenched his jaw hard before spitting out, "Maybe you think a gunhand like me is too gorram thick to know that there ain't no difference between one kinda suicide an' another." He stood up from his chair, plunked his fists down on the desk with a meaty thunk, and loomed across it at Jack. If he wasn't gonna let Mal drag him into no war, Jayne sure as hell wasn't gonna let this grinning fool do the same or worse. "I don't got no kinda mind to get killed for anybody's _yee yan_. You pay me what you promised an' don't ask for no stupid stunts, maybe we can deal."

Jack regarded Jayne thoughtfully for a moment, but didn't seem discomfited or intimidated in the least. "You're not exactly what I expected," he finally said. "But you certainly are a handsome devil when you're angry, aren't you?" He rose smoothly, leaning across the desk himself until he was nearly nose to nose with Jayne. "Tell you what," he offered. "I'll show you the underground cells so you can see for yourself what we deal with here. After that, if you decide it isn't worth the pay I'm offering and you don't want any part of us, you can walk. We can just forget the whole thing."

Jayne refused to back away first, staying almost eye-crossingly close. "Just forget the whole thing? Easy as that?"

"Easy as that," Jack agreed. "It'll be almost like we never even met." But something in the way he said it sounded maybe just a bit hinky around the edges.

"How 'bout if I say I wanna go right now?"

Jack shrugged in an unconcerned ripple of motion. "Then you go right now. But," he continued, sliding a hand over the gun that lay on the desk below them, "you'll also have to forget this little beauty. Not to mention the generous salary that goes with her."

Jayne tried not to look down at the shiny gun. He really did. He tried for at least five whole seconds. But she was just so _shiny_. "Suppose a quick look-see couldn't hurt none," he muttered, staring down at the weapon with dazzled eyes.

"Of course not," Jack said, clapping a hand on Jayne's shoulder heartily. "I can even have you back to Madam Chin's before the special runs out, if you still want to leave afterwards." He slid around the desk and opened his office door, gesturing towards it with a slight bow. "And now, won't you step into my parlor, Mr. Cobb?"

Jayne shot him a narrow-eyed glance, but he scooped up the gun and cradled her against his chest anyway. "All right. But I'll just carry this with me on the way. An' you'd best know now, I ain't your fly."

"Maybe not," Jack allowed, grinning again. "But I'll bet you carry off silk pretty magnificently."

"I do," Jayne told him, finally grinning back. Two could bargain like that, after all, and Jack wasn't a bad looking fellow. Besides, Jayne figured that lips that smiled so much had to get pretty spry at other things, too. "But that'd cost you extra," he warned.

Jack's delighted chuckle rumbled in Jayne's ear as he passed Jack by on his way through the door. "Fair enough. Worth every penny, I'm sure," Jack laughed.

"Damn straight," Jayne tossed back over his shoulder, smirking at the feel of eyes on his ass. Just might be this job could do him for a spell after all, Jayne thought to himself, cuddling the shiny gun even closer. Just might be.

*********  
luh suh=garbage  
joo fuen chse=pool of pig droppings  
yee yan=wasted endeavor without payoff, charity show


End file.
